I laid down on my bed. I think about my career path. If I could, would I want to relive the time and memories that are in the past now? I grew up without really thinking about my future. I used to believe that living with regrets was a terrible thing. I use the mantra to pass the days "Stay in the present. Keep moving forward."

As I grew older, I realized something about life: it could get pretty lonely. My best friends and I used to hang out all the time. But now everyone is busy with their own lives: work, uni, assignments, projects, family, relationship. I’m slowly but surely starting to talk more and more about myself in real life but it still feels weird and strange. As you know, I have a blog. I write about my life, I talk about my life. I’m also weird, shy, an introvert (not going to lie). Sometimes I’m not comfortable with talking about myself and what I can do.

When I was a kid. Like most children, I wanted to be a lot of things when I grew up. My teacher used to asking each student what he or she wanted to become in the future. Someone said he was interested in being a doctor. Someone else wanted to be a teacher. I said I want to be a writer or movie director. Simply because I loved reading and writing, making up stories, and sharing thoughts.

Back then when I graduated from high school. Didn’t you want something bigger in your life? Most of us had high ambitions when we were growing up, something happened along the way though. I know I was meant to do something more though. I see the same feeling in other people as well.

Now, as I reflect back, I notice that there are a few regrets I hold, particularly about things I did not do enough of in my 20’s.

If I had it to do over again, I honestly don’t know if I would have chosen an IT major, and I don’t know if I would have gone to Trunojoyo University. It’s true that I had many valuable learning experiences. However, I also feel like I wasted a lot of time taking general education courses that didn’t teach me the skills that I needed for my career. To this day, I still wonder why I choose that major. I still wonder what would have happened if I would have gone where I would have been able to focus more specifically on my major.
 
It's not exactly regret but if I could turn back time and give advice to my younger self, be you. Do not ever forget who you are, where you came from, and your principles in life. You might think you’ve experienced a lot in your life, but behold, take a deep breath, you are going to have the best time of your life in college.

I wish I reading more because it makes me smarter. It stimulates my brain. It takes my creativity onto different paths.

I wish to meet people, who I've shared my happiness with. I wish to meet inspiring people more often, to have conversations that not only awaken my passion for life, the good-times-only people, and the people I want to hold onto for the rest of my life. Surround myself by positive people.

I also wish to always make a positive impact on the people I meet every day.

Study hard. That doesn't mean you have to memorize everything, but keep onto the good information because knowledge is the only thing you’ll always have no matter what.

I wish joining the debate club since the beginning of high school, attend many tournaments. I like debate and I feel passionate about it. Debate has a huge impact in my life, it has changed the way I look at things.

The time machine. I could starts over and I could avoid all the mistakes.

Damn it, so many wishes that I couldn’t list down.

As I’m getting older I’m realizing all I really want is a “good job”, a “stable job”. I’ve learned that it’s never too late to catch up! So many things I still want to learn. This is not the end of the story, because I’m still alive, and working through things.

Last month after this semester over, I went to Bali. Bali is the perfect place to heal and refresh my brain, yes I craved for beach and sun. Feeling proud of myself for having been able to survive this whole semester. I only went there one time. The last time I went to Bali was about 4 years ago, and of course my knowledge about Bali is limited and have never really been to anywhere outside the most mainstream tourist destinations. We drove directly from Lamongan to Bali and then took a 16 hours drive into the destinations. In the street, we were very enjoyed this trip. Some of us were played a karaoke to entertain the other friends, and some of them were slept, saw a scenery from the bus window, talked, took some pictures, etc. Me and my friends pretty excited to get over there to experience a new adventurous life. So here I'm writing all awesome places, just in case you want to visit them too.

VISIT TANAH LOT

The Pura Tanah Lot temple is a must visit when you are staying in Bali. Attracting over a million visitors every year, Tanah Lot is known as one of the most important landmark in Bali. In order to reach the temple, visitors have to walk through a pathway lined with souvenirs shops and restaurants that are specifically targeted at tourists. Thus, the best time to visit is around 5.00 pm when the sun is just about to set. Tanah Lot is definitely one of the most spectacular sight on the coast of Bali that no visitors should miss.

You can imagine the best vacation ever just by laying down on the sand and watch the waves. All day. Away from the phone and anything. The sound of crashing waves while the warm breeze gently blows through my hair. Pandawa beach it’s very trendy, has fine surfing beach and food choices for everyone. Pandawa offers great place where surfing is good, almost every day. Rent a board or take some lessons at Pandawa Beach. Feeling all blue with the sea and spend the day sunbathing and enjoying chilled coconuts. It was a very pleasant day.

Where is the most famous beach in Bali? if you ask for every people that was visited Bali, they would answer Kuta beach. Yup, Kuta beach! The large and busy beach in Bali for travellers. So many restaurants and bar with beautiful view in Bali that we couldn't list down. We continued further along the beach to a few different spots, it was a beautiful day. After spending quite some time, In the afternoon we took a drive and we headed back to hotel. Looks like I still couldn't move on from my Bali vacation. I definitely will visit Kuta again and trying out new foods, coffee shops, and places to hang out. I wish I can live here forever.

We met foreigners for college assignments

 

Photo: Behance / Aleksandra Zaborowska

It was ten o’clock on a fine Sunday morning after I finished the boarding school exams. It is supposed to be done a month ago, I’m too bad at religious things so I took remedial test. After a while, I walked into parking area while waiting my friend to finish the exams. Not so long, my friend came to me. We met bunch of girls, I stopped and doubted my eyes. Not only me, but my friend were confused too.

“Can you guess?” I laughed.

“LOL. What stuff she puts on her face?” He asked.

“It is makeup, right?” I answered.

“Girls you want go to KKN or party?” I thought to myself. We could not stop laughing at the moment. BB Cream, mascara with gold eyeshadow and winged eyeliner. Not to mention metallic lipstick and her blush on. Instead No-Makeup look it is like she did Go-To Party Makeup Look. I grabbed my phone and immediately posted it on WhatsApp story. I received a text some minutes later. The responds was various, some says it’s normal for woman to having makeup on, some just used their best arguments like “we are just human being and life is not perfect”.  I couldn’t care less, but the question is how important are appearances to you?

Our society places a great deal of pressure on women to look and act a certain way. But since girls at my university are covered with hijab. Besides skin tone, weight and body shape can be another problematic factor, thanks to K-pop culture who worship white skin. It courses through cosmetics ads, the message is the same: a person with lighter skin color is always more confident, more popular, and more successful. Along with YouTube makeup tutorials and Instagram beauty influencers, beauty-standard has exploded online. Social media puts ever more pressure on appearances, ultra-slim models like Kendall Jenner and Bella Hadid. Women are expected to perform femininity and feminism at once.

However, with the use of social networking sites, this body image problem is taken to the next level. Just sit on your phones scrolling through Instagram, you do not realize the editing and fixing of the pictures people post of themselves. When you first stalk someone on their social media, you tend to notice their faces, such as their selfies, their perfect life. Then you begin to look more. You then look at yourself and wonder why you do not look like that. However, many people do not realize the thought, time, and effort put into these pictures. The millions of photos taken just to get the right shot as well as the process of editing. People will edit their photos so that it looks like they are “perfect” because that is how they want society to see them.

Chill, everyone has flaws, you do not need to worry about your 65kg weight, acne scars, or even dark skin tone. I can understand feeling that you have to have a perfect body to be likeable. You need realized that no matter how hard you tried, you would never get Gigi Hadid’s body. Everyone has a choice. Hijab or not, blonde hair or jet-black hair, light make up, weightlifting or weight gains. I understand it is tiring having to put up with your social circles, or even strangers questioning and commenting on your figure, your skin tone, and your choice of wardrobe.

As body shaming is bullying, it is never okay. It’s not okay to bully fat or skinny people. It’s not okay to bully people with fair skin or those with dark skin. It’s not okay to joke about certain race. Whatever makeup or wardrobe we choose, we don’t deserve to be shamed. We must not tolerate it.

For all woman out there. I know that trying to grow confidence in the body is not easy, please learned to embrace your own look without trying to manipulate it too much.  There are no targets, no one to impress. Love and accept your body, therefore take good care of it. People’s opinions and media depictions don’t matter because they don’t live in this body. So as long as it is healthy and you are happy, why should you go any further solely to follow what is perceived as ideal? So, if someone rejects you only because of your physical appearance, believe me, it’s their loss. Because you are so much more than that.

No inspiration for blog updates and it seems I have a lot of ideas, hehe :))

Hello .. I'm sorry for not updating the blog for the last time, my busy school activities and I had to learn for my exams. And this is the perfect time to do fun things. School holidays have started, and a lot of the things I did in the holidays :). I made ​​a DIY bracelet, the colors are very beautiful. You can easily make this bracelet at home :))

I bought the round glasses yesterday, and I get this at the night market in my town. I love these glasses because it is unique and interesting. Btw I also bought nail polish to add to my collection :) hehehe ..

Cairuo (Red), Bilhun (green), Pokari (translucent purple) nail polish :)

Red